Dear Jennifer Lopez.
How you and your majestic hair and inexplicable glow have unexpectedly captured my heart this season of American Idol. No one was more surprised than I to find you charming and warm in the auditions. And that array of cute outfits as you travelled the audition circuit put a spring in my step as I looked forward to the live shows and wondered what you would wear.
There were certainly some highlights - particularly the two Gucci dresses you wore. Gucci really suits you - and that Gucci-alike DvF blouse and trouser combo was probably my favourite look on you all season.
But, J-Lo, I am a bit confused. I don't understand why EVERY little mini dress was sequined. And so damn mini. I understand that there is no shiny surface that you have ever met that you couldn't turn into an outfit - we all feel a bit like that if I am honest - but we AVOID the trap.
Harem pants are also a tough fashion nut to crack, but while we wait for the beach in summer, you put it all out there on stage in front of millions. And while they were sequined in your signature style, I do feel they were a real misstep for you. Ditto that jumpsuit you wore last night. Just keeping it real, ya' know baby.
OK. So the good news is that you have a place in my heart and I am already looking forward to next season. The bad news is that you are going to have to drop those hem lines about 2 inches and lighten up the hand that dishes out the spangle. Deal? Good.
Also, if I may, please can I ask that the teenage country singers are systematically eradicated from the show next season so that we can have a final worth watching for a reason other than you, Steven Tyler's scarves and Beyonce. Thanks very much. You rock.
With all my love
StyleGuideCT xx